Deadliest Warrior: No Mercy
by Madman With A Keyboard
Summary: The greatest warriors from fiction shall all fight another, for the title of Deadliest Warrior. Blood will be spilled, Death shall be bountiful and only one will survive. May accept requests for fights. Rated M for Violence/Language.


**Note of Author: Hello readers of the internet, to my latest (and hopefully, greatest) story yet! One based off my absolute favourite (reality) TV show: Deadliest Warrior! Now, this particular Deadliest Warrior story will be highly influenced by _Master of the Boot's_ magnificent Deadliest Warrior, which I recommend you all read. Like right now. Seriously, it is AWESOME!**

**Anyways, this chapter will have: Sora, from Kingdom Hearts and Crona, from Soul Eater, battling. And for this fight, Crona will have Manga abilities, but Anime personality/backstory. And Sora will be himself from KH 2 and without summons. Because if he get's summons, it's not even a fair fight.**

** I also profusely apologize if Sora act's OOC in this, for I am not acquainted well with the Kingdom Hearts series.**

**Now, let the story begi- Wait, need to put down disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own either Kingdom Hearts nor Soul Eater. They belong to Square Enix/Disney and Atsushi Ōkubo, respectively. Deadliest Warrior also belongs to SPIKE.**

**Now, in the words of President Snow, _LET THE GAMES BEGIN!_**

* * *

A lithe figure in a black dress walks through an alleyway, hunched over. A small trio of gangsters see him (or her), and approach the figure, chuckling darkly. "Hey kid, a bit late for a stroll, don't ya think?" One of them said, laughing. "Go away." The figure whispered. The trio laughed out loud, one of them pulling out a knife. "Alright kid, 'nuff playing around. Give us all your stuff." He growled.

The figure looked up at him, showing his/her face. It was hard to tell, nothing about the kid gave away gender. "Oh, you shouldn't do that." He said in a warning tone. The man growled. "Kid, stop fuckin' around! Give us your wallet, **now!**" He growled. The kid continued staring at him.

The man, getting angered at his obliviousness, decided to cut the act. And cut the kid up as well. He stabbed him in the gut, grinning feraly while his cronies stood back, watching, ready to search his body the second he came down.

So the gangsters were shocked to see the kid still alive

_Crona Gorgon!_

He stared at the surprised man blankly. "You really shouldn't have done that." He said, bleeding out on the ground. But his blood was different. Instead of the normal scarlet red, it was black, blacker than the darkest night.

"My blood is black y'know." Crona said nonchalantly, while the men backed away in fear.

"Wh-What the hell are you!?" One of the men said. Crona opened his mouth to reply before a cracking noise filled the air and he stretched back in pain.

_Son of the witch, Medusa, Crona is the Ultimate killing machine._

Crona screamed in pain as a spurt of black blood came spurting out of his back.

_Half human._

The blood began solidifying, a violet light covering it as it became roughly humanoid. Bulging muscles formed, hands outstretched and a head came out, with a pair of bulging eyes coming out.

_Half Demon-Weapon._

**"Oh, what have we here?" **The abomination said, looking at them with what could be best described as hunger. The men were frozen with fear, staring at them. "A few guys tried to mug with me. I don't know how to deal with it." Crona explained, looking downwards in what could be best described as embarrassment.

Ragnarök let out an explosive sigh. **"Crona, you idiot, we do what we _always _do."** He said, transforming into a large black and white cleaver like sword with a mouth in the hilt, appearing in Crona's hands.

**"We EAT them." **The sword hissed.

_Crona Gorgon, The Demon Weapon Swordsman, The Devourer of Souls, The Next Grand Kishin._

_VERSUS!_

A blonde child dressed rather brightly ran down a street, a weapon that could be best described as a mix between a Key and a Sword in his hand. He ducked down a corner, backing up when he saw vaguely shadow-like beings in front of him, their eyes glowing a sickly yellow.

He smiled, putting the blade in his shoulder. "You guys don't give up, do you?" He said wistfully while the creatures continued staring. He shrugged again, readying his blade. "Eh, doesn't matter to me. I can still take you on." He said with a cocky grin.

_Sora, Wielder of the Keyblade!_

_It shall be purity of Heart!_

One of the shadow creatures, a Heartless, leapt at Sora, shadowy claws outstretched. Sora responded by cutting it down the torso, dispelling it into mist. "Next!" He called out to the creatures, who lunged towards him.

_Versus__ darkness of soul!_

Crona turned around, plunging his sword into the chest, the mouth gulping down the spraying blood. "Sorry!" Crona apologized, pulling the sword out and slicing him in half. Where his abdomen once been was now a floating blue orb. His soul. The mouth on the sword gulped it down, licking its lips. **"Mmmmm, nice and chewy!" **Ragnarök said, while the mans friends ran away.

_Good!_

Sora sliced a Heartless in half, dispelling it white holding his sword like a gun and shooting a fireball at the Final Heartless. Ash scattered around while Sora smiled, sheathing his weapon. "A few Heartless down, a legion to go." He said, chuckling.

_Versus Evil!_

Crona raised his sword in the air, closing his eyes and flinching for what was to come. _**"SCREAM RESONANCE!" **_Ragnarök shouted as Crona waved his blade through the air. A violet energy went hurtling from it, vaguely skull like. It let out a shrill screeching noise, like a cleaver being dashed across a chalkboard. It passed the men, who screamed in pain as their eardrums burst.

_And in the end..._

Sora walked away, ready to hunt down more Heartless. He saw Donald and Goofy and smiled, waving at them. "Hey guys, where ya been?" He asked.

_...Only one..._

Crona approached the last surviving human, the other having been killed already. "Wh-What are you!?" He screamed. Crona cocked his head quizzically.

"I'm Crona Gorgon, Sword Meister of the Black Blood Sword." **"And you're food!" **Ragnarök said. With a single swipe, the man was decapitated. His soul floated out, which Ragnarök greedily devoured. "Come on, let's see Lady Medusa. I heard she has something planned for us." Crona said as the sword went back into his body and they walked away into the night.

_WILL!_

_BE! _

_DEADLIEST!_

* * *

**DEADLIEST WARRIOR**

**NO MERCY**

* * *

A small non-decrepit warehouse sit's in the downtown sector of Chicago, a small sign on it; A Spartan Helmet within a Shuriken, the words 'Arena' underneath. Not many people cared about it, only hearing that it was to be the set for a new television show. Aside from various technicians and manufacturers, nobody had visited the building.

Until now.

A Black Sedan rolled up in front of the building, and out emerge one of the greatest trio's in television history.

Geoff Desmoulin, former Marine and now Scientist, a smile on his face as he looked over the new building. "Nice building, huh?" He commented to his friends.

Armand Dorian, former E.R Doctor, nodded, looking over the building approvingly. "Yeah, certainly an improvement over our last place."

"Why did we think it was a good idea to have Richard Machowicz fight Vampire-Zombies anyways? In the building?" Max Geiger, resident nerd, asked. The others responded with a shrug, remembering the disastrous episode that never aired. Their had been a reason behind those budget concerns that had made them lose their old show.

"Eh, enough dwelling on the past. Let's check out the place!" Geoff said, walking up to the building and swinging open the front doors.

"Ah hell yes!" Geoff said, grinning as he saw the room. It was state of the art, with an archery/rifle range, various fighting mats to showcase a combatants close-quarter capabilities, countless dummies, both ballistic gel and not, an armoury filled with various weaponry, and of course, a large computer-touch board, like they had in the 3rd season.

"Nice!" Max said, looking around with a grin.

"This will be good for tests." Armand said, looking around with a small smile.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Geoff asked with a grin. "Let's get to know our fighters!"

* * *

Geoff walked up to the touchpad, his fellow analyzers in pursuit. "First, let's see Crona." Geoff said, pressing a button on the glorified IPad.

_"Crona Gorgon, the son of the infamous witch, Medusa, had been born for one purpose: To become the new Kishin, a demon of madness." _The narrator said, showing the original Kishin, Asura amidst burning village. For a second, the Kishin takes in a resemblance to the swordsman.

_"Medusa wanted her son to be so powerful, she located a Demon Weapon, the closet a weapon can become to a Kishin and melted it down, replacing his own blood with the weapon." _It than shows a video of Medusa in medical garbs in front of a restrained Crona, who struggles against his grips. She pulls out a syringe, filled with a black liquid and inserts it into Crona's veins.

The child screams as he experiences a pain unlike any other, writhing and twisting on the table while his mother watches on, dispassionately.

_"She then trained the child in the acts of cruelty, forcing him to fight and torture young animals." _Crona approached a young baby dragon, letting out a small 'eep' when it turned at him and breathed out a few sparks. He turned to his mother, tears in his eyes. "M-Momma, I can't hurt him." He said. Medusa simply stared at him.

"Vector Arrow."

A line of black arrows appeared under him, tossing him into his room. "Come out when you are able to kill it." Medusa said coldly, slamming the door.

Crona sat in the dark room, not even noticing Ragnarök (although now much smaller) emerge from his back. **"Damn it Crona, you idiot! Now she's angry at us!" **He growled, smacking the kid against the back of the head.

"Hey, don't do that! I don't know how to deal with it!" Crona replied.

**"Oh really? Guess I'll keep hitting ya 'till you do!" **He said, hammering on the child, ignoring his cries of pain.

Later, Medusa opened the door, seeing Crona huddled down in a pile, Ragnarök gone. "Are you ready now?" She questioned.

Crona remained silent and still.

Medusa glared at the child.

Finally, Crona rose up, his eyes filled with a twisted gleam and a cruel smile spread across his face, ignoring his bleeding nose. "My blood is black y'know." He said, his voice tinged with insanity.

Medusa felt the smallest flicker of a smile across her face.

_Crona was driven insane by this, growing a split personality: One cruel and insane, one shy and nervous._

The words were accompanied by a picture, one side scarlet red the other bright white, with dark silhouettes against it. The one in the red resembled Crona, although with a wide grin with gleaming teeth, dark swirls behind him. The other knelt over, his eyes downcast.

* * *

"A tad mellow-dramatic, don't you think?" Max asked his comrades.

* * *

_"Shut up, I'm the narrator, I make the rules." _The Narrator replied.

* * *

"Shutting up." Max said, somewhat unnerved that the inanimate voice could hear them.

* * *

_"After his first kill, Crona was sent out on various missions, to devour innocent souls to become closer to a Kishin, and defeat Death himself." _The last video shows Crona garbed similarly to Asura, with black robes, white shoulder pads and the 'Three Eyes' motif visible all around him, perched on the burning ruins of Death Weapons Miester Academy. Ominous chanting filled the area, while Crona gave an unnerving laugh in a low, dry voice.

* * *

"And now to something less Satanic." Geoff said, pressing another button.

* * *

More heroic music began playing, showing a stylized Golden Heart. Suddenly, a blonde boy with bright blue eyes jumped in front of it, dressed in black, white and gold and holding what appeared to be a sword styled around a key.

_"Sora, Wielder of the Keyblade!" _The narrator said.

* * *

"And the person who should have been bonus character in Super Smash Bros 3DS." Max muttered.

* * *

_"I'm not warning you again, shut up when I'm talking."_

* * *

"Yes sir." He said, grumbling while his friends giggled to themselves.

* * *

_"Thank you." _The narrator said before the video started again. _"Sora, Wielder of the Keyblade, and protector of the Kingdom Heart!" _He said.

"_Having lived on Destiny Islands his entire life, Sora's life was changed drastically when he was chosen to be the wielder of the Keyblade, a weapon of Holy Magic!" _The narrator said, as it showed the infamous 'Is Any Of This Real?' cut scene.

_"He'd face off against some of Disney's most notorious villains, ranging from the wicked Malificent," _Shows him dueling her in her Dragon form. _"And the insidious Chernobog." _He said, showing him face off against the Black God of Death, with _Night on Bald Mountain _playing in the background.

_"And somehow Sepiroth."_The narrator said as Sora faced off against the One-Winged Angel, while the same song played.

_"We get it, it's made by Square Enix. Don't need to hit us over the head with it." _The Narrator said, obviously one of the few annoyed by the cameo.

_"Anyways, Sora has faced down literal legions of demons called 'Heartless', who devour the souls, or 'hearts', of countless people!" A_ girl was talking with Sora be lifted into the air, the shadowy claws of the Heartless embedded in her.

"_Sora has faced down legions of monsters on his own, but now will have to deal with a single monster, and one as equally talented with a sword, if not better." _The narrator spoke, as a short clip from the simulation was played.

Crona's sword locked with Sora's Keyblade, Insanity in Crona's eyes and burning rage within Sora's.

_"It'll be a battle of opposites: He who devours souls versus He who protects them."_

Crona leapt back, cutting his wrists and waving the blood on to the ground. "Rose Thorn Storm!" He shouted, the blood become sketchy arrows, sharp spiked roses emerging from them. Sora leapt back from the impaling plans and held his sword like a gun. "_Firaga!" _He shouted as a ring of fire went flying at it. An explosion of fire and smoke filled the screen.

"_And only one will survive."_

* * *

Geoff pressed a button on the tablet, stopping the video. "Alright, before we start, who do you guys think will win?" He asked.

"I'm going with Sora. He's fought far more foes, with more results and has better firepower with the Keyblade." Max said.

"I don't know, I'm edging with Crona. Black Blood is a very rare substance, making most cutting weapons rather null. A sword shaped like a key won't really help by that much. And every single cell of blood CAN be used as a weapon." Armand replied.

"Hey, why _is _Sora's sword shaped like a key?" Geoff asked.

"Because it unlocks the door to your death." Max replied, chuckling lightly.

Armand rolled his eyes at the corny joke. "Okay, let's go see our experts."

* * *

The trio walked down to the main part of the arena, looking at the doors expectantly for the experts on each combatant to arrive.

And they stared.

And stared.

And stared.

After a full minute, Max piped up. "You think they'd be here by no-"

He was cut off by a figure kicking the door open. She seemed to be a blonde girl in her early teens, wearing a skirt, a yellow shirt and large black trench coat. She smiled, waving at them. "Hey there guys. Sorry we're late." She said before rolling her green eyes in annoyance. "Soul decided to drive us here." She muttered.

Soul walked in behind her, glaring at her. "Hey, I don't see you with a motorcycle." He replied, wearing his leather jacket attire. "Not that you know how to drive it." He replied.

_**THWACK.**_

Soul crumpled on the ground, while an annoyed Maka held a textbook in her hands. "Soul, don't be rude." She muttered.

"Anyone else thinking of _Inuyasha, _or is that just me?" Max asked.

Maka gave him a blank stare, as did George and Armand.

"Okay, guess it's just me."

George rolled his eyes and looked at Maka. "So, I'm guessing you're our expert for Crona?" He asked, Maka nodding. "Yup. I'm Maka Albarn, Professional Scythe Meister of Death Weapons Meister Academy." She said. Suddenly, a small name tag appeared under her, giving her name and the _'Professional Scythe Meister' _underneath it. Next to was a Shuriken, with a drop of blood, denoting she was on Team Crona.

Maka stared at the name tag which quickly disappeared. "Um, what was tha-" "We have no clue, but it make's our jobs easier." Armand replied.

Soul got back up, rubbing his head. "So, who's the expert for Sora?"

"That's me!" A voice that sounded like it was on helium said.

The group turned around, seeing the infamous mascot of Disney.

"Hey Mickey." George said, smiling as the Mouse walked down.

Maka shifted into a combat stance, Soul transforming into a scythe in her hands. Mickey pulled out his Keyblade, snarling while the trio stared in confusion.

"Um, what are you guys doing?" Max asked, confused.

"Anime and Cartoon's have _never _gotten along." Maka explained, tightening her grip on Soul.

"My kind arrived first! You have no right to steal _MY _audience!" Mickey said, frothing lightly at the mouth.

"We didn't steal them, they just grew up." She replied. Mickey howled and lunged at her. Maka blocked the sword with her scythe, growling. "_**Witch** **Hunter**!_" She yelled, her scythe becoming blue energy._  
_

"And that's where I come in!" Geoff said, picking Maka up by the collar of her coat and Mickey by his ears. "Hey, what are you doing, you oath!?" "**LET ME AT HER, LET ME AT HER! I'LL TEAR HER HEART OUT!"**

**"QUIET!" **He shouted, in his best drill Sergeant voice. That shut them up, making them look at him with fear. "Now, you are here to show why you're respective combatants would win. I expect some _friendly_," he said, hissing out the word friendly. "Competition. Understood?"

"Yeah, yeah." "Sure."

**"AM I UNDERSTOOD!?"**

"Sir, yes sir!" They both said, snapping off sloppy salutes. "Good. Now, head to your respective spots, and get accustomed to the weapons you'll be using." He said, seeing them slink off to their respective parts of the building.

Max and Armand stared at Geoff in shock. He gave them a quizzical look. "What, my boot-camp teacher acted the same. Worked well for me."

Armand opened his mouth, about to give off reasons _why_ that wasn't a good idea but shut his mouth, shrugging.

"Let's get to the tests!" Max said, grinning.

* * *

**CLOSE/MEDIUM RANGE: Ragnarök and Black Blood Constructs versus Keyblade/Stopga**

* * *

First off was the 'Close Range' and 'Medium Range' categories, pitting Ragnarök against The Keyblade and the spell, Stopga.

Maka held a replication of the infamous weapon, Ragnarök, holding it double-handed. "This, as you most likely know, is Ragnarök, or at least a copy of it. Let's call it Yggdrasil." Maka said, grinning at the Norse mythology reference.

Everyone stared at her with confusion.

"Er, okay, moving on," Maka said, embarrassed. "This weapon is made out of tempered Steel, the closest we can get to the properties of solidified Black Blood."

"Wait, you're saying Crona's blood is essentially liquid steel?" Armand asked, causing Maka to nod in response. "Okay, good to know. Please, continue."

Maka nodded. "Now, Ragnarök is a weapon somewhat hard to test, due to the inclusion of the 'Scream Waves', which will talk about later and the vibration effect it can cause when doing that."

"Ah, we've found a way to carry out that into the sword." Max said, walking over to Maka. "Just press this button here and-"

A deafening scream echoed through the arena, causing the sword to vibrate. With a press of the button, a slightly ear-damaged Max smiled. "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE LOUD NOISE IS ABLE TO ADEQUATELY SERVE AS A REPLACEMENT TO THE VIBRATION EFFECT!" Max said, temporarily deaf.

"You don't need to yell." Maka said, slightly annoyed.

"WHAT?"

Geoff rolled his eyes and pulled Max away, while the team stood behind a plexiglass booth. "Okay, attack the dummy at the count of three!" Geoff said, pointing to a Ballistic Gel dummy, similar to that of the average teenage boy. A golden wig was put on top of it.

"With pleasure." Maka said, entering her combat stance.

"3... 2... 1! **TEAR HIM APART!" **Geoff yelled, grinning. Maka let out a fierce battle cry, running to the dummy and swinging it in a upper-cut angle. She cut through his chin and a good line went through his chest, artificial blood leaking down. She swung the sword back down, sticking the weapon in the shoulder. She tried to lift it back out, but ti wouldn't budge. She activated the 'resonance' effect, causing the sword to vibrate and cut off shards of bone, sending them deeper into the body. She pulled it out and stuck the sword through the eye of the dummy, before pulling it out, causing the head to be essentially cut in half.

Satisfied with the damage, she pulled the blade out, turning off the resonance effect. "Done!" She called out.

Geoff, Armand and Max all had one look on their faces: Pure and utter shock. "Wow." Geoff said simply. "Even the _Maori _and the Aztecs weren't that brutal!" He said, grinning. "I like it!"

* * *

Armand walked up to the shredded dummy, shaking his head. "First of all, do I even _need _to state that this kids dead?" He asked, eliciting a chuckle from Maka and the group.

"Well first, you've chopped off most of his right shoulder, a severe blow on it's own. And the resonance effect sent various shards of bone back into the body, making the sword into essentially a Chainsaw, cutting through more muscles than I can count. If he doesn't die from blood loss, he'll die from the shock."

"But you also cut open his belly. Blood's coming out and so are organs, like the Liver or Intestines. Another killing blow. And, of course," he said, pointing to the gaping hole that had once been the left eye. "That."

"This is quite obviously a kill." Armand said.

"One problem Doctor: It wouldn't have happened." Mickey said, watching with crossed eyes.

Maka rolled her eyes. "And how do you know that?" She retorted.

"Let's see, his natural agility, swordsmanship skills and battle instincts," Mickey said, listing each of them off with a finger. "Would have made him ducking and weaving from the attacks. So I repeat, it wouldn't happen." Mickey said with a smug attitude.

Maka rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but if he's a second slow or Crona catches him by surprise, he's done for."

Mickey laughed. "We'll see about that."

"We did. Just now. Look at the shredded dummy." Soul said, pointing at said pile of artificial blood, gel and fake organs. Mickey growled. "Oh, let's just get to the next test."

"Yup, with the rest of Crona's weapons." Maka said, smiling.

Geoff blinked in confusion. "Huh?" He said. Maka gave him a puzzled look. "You _do _know that Crona has more than just Ragnarök, right?"

"Lady, one of our experts for The Ninja vs Spartan fight was a comedian." Max said, slightly embarrassed. "We don't really do much research on these things."

Maka sighed. "Can we just get another dummy?"

* * *

Another dummy was set up, as Maka held a pair of gauntlets. One had what appeared to be a scythe blade (Bloody Slicer) and the other was a sharp point, curling around the gauntlet like a drill (Bloody Lancer).

Maka entered a combat stance, eyeing the dummy. "Okay, get ready!" Geoff said, standing back.

"In 3... 2...1! **SLICE AND DRILL!**" Geoff yelled.

Maka let out a battlecry, lunging towards the dummy as she gripped her hand on the right gauntlet, making the drill spin.

Maka sliced open the dummies arteries with a flick of her wrist, before punching the Lancer through it's chest, making artificial organs into paste. A fierce slashing noise echoed through the room as the Lancer impacted against the metal spine.

She pulled back, as what was left of the insides of the organs spilled out.

"Okay, _now _we're done." Maka said with a smirk.

* * *

Armand flinched, looking it over. "Okay, I think the damage is rather obvious here: Cut arteries, chokes on blood. And the organs are, well." he pulled out what had once been a liver. "Mince-meat."

Maka nudged a shocked Mickey, a cocky grin on her face. "Think your Keyblade will test up to that?" She said mockingly.

Mickey scowled at her. "Clear the stage, it's my turn."

* * *

Mickey stood in the same arena, the artificial blood washed away. The shredded dummy was replaced with a pair of dummies, one with liquid steel instead of blood and the other with solid steel instead of blood, to test the Black Blood capabilities. It also had a small motor, to test the abilities of the 'Stopga' spell.

"Alright Mickey, we're going to want you to test the Keyblade, along with the ability Stopga, against Crona. Now, the blood is obviously going to make this more difficult, so go all out on him." Geoff said.

Mickey gave a blood-thirst grin, holding a copy of Sora's Keyblade, made from Tempered Iron and Steel alloy. "With pleasure." He hissed.

The trio shivered and Geoff got out a stopwatch. "Okay, so on 3... 2...1! **SLICE AND DICE!"**

Mickey let out a fierce battle cry, lunging towards the dummy with liquid blood.

He gave it a fierce smash to the head, making it crumble like a deck of cards, before lifting it and smashing it down on his shoulder. He turned around, his sword splattered with blood towards the solid blooded dummy. "_Stopga_!" He shouted, causing time to slow to a crawl.

The trio was frozen, whooping as the black blood from the original dummy hanged motionless in the air. Maka and Soul watched, a seemingly uncaring expression on their faces.

Although they were frozen, the camera's were not.

He ran to the metal blooded one, giving it a slicing motion across the belly, slitting it open although nothing spilled through. Growling, he whacked the dummy against the side of the head, sending it wobbling like a punching bag. He put down his sword, frowning as time cought back up.

"And time!" Geoff called out.

* * *

Armand walked over to the Liquid Blooded Crona, shaking his head. "Damn, what did Crona ever do to you?" He asked jokingly.

"Now, first off, you've essentially crushed the guys skull in, like a war-hammer. His brain has been turned to mush, an instant kill. And then you also broke his shoulder. Not a kill, _but_ that'll cause a lot of pain."

Maka rolled her eyes. "Trust me, Crona's been in worse pain. He could walk off a broken shoulder."

Mickey laughed. "Probably, but he wouldn't walk away from a caved head. Face it, I won this."

"Actually, you haven't." Armand said, shocking the Mouse King. "What do you mean, I crushed this dummy!"

"Yes, _this _dummy." Armand replied. "But not the other. That's what Crona will be like after the first blow, his blood solidified. And your Keyblade did almost nothing to him in that state."

The Mouse fumed. "Bu-But I killed him the first time!" "Not that shocking. Average body." Armand replied.

"Plus, one little problem with your sword. The blood splatter." Maka replied, grinning smugly. Mickey looked at her in confusion. "Every single spot of blood can, and will, be used as a weapon. And you're practically bathed in it."

Mickey looked down at himself in horror. He was covered in the black liquid. "We should really clean you off." Armand murmured.

* * *

A soaking wet Mickey Mouse chattered in his corner of the building while Geoff, Max and Armand debated on which would weapon should get the edge.

"I'm telling you, the edge should go to the Keyblade!" Max argued, while Armand held his face in his hands. "And for the last time, the edge is going to Ragnarök!"

"Okay, quiet both of you!" Geoff said, turning to Max. "Now, why do you think the Keyblade should win?"

"For one, this weapon is literally made to cut through anything evil. We didn't see that demonstrated in the dummy because, well, it's the dummy. And it also has multiple uses." Max said, arms crossed. "So, the edge goes to The Keyblade."

"You're arguing it should get the edge in Close Range for doing something we didn't see it do, and doing things not fitting into this category." Armand said in a dead-pan voice. "Plus, Ragnarök did more damage."

"I've gotta go with Armand here. Ragnarök takes the edge." Geoff said. "Plus, there's the added bonus of Bloody Needles, which we can't actually test. Sure, a Lancer, but a blood pile that can suddenly become impaling rods? Not that lucky. Although from what Maka said, it's essentially getting impaled multiple times at once. And we remember the impalement test." Geoff said, making all of them shudder. "And also, Stopga really didn't help Mickey that much. Now, in the simulation it might help, but not here."

"So, Crona wins close edge?" Armand said.

"That he does." Geoff said nodding.

"But-" Max protested, quieted by a glance from Geoff. "Fine." He grumbled, causing his friends to laugh lightly.

* * *

_"The Close & Medium Range Both go to Crona, giving him the edge!" _The narrator said, as the picture of Cronba gained a pair of Black Blood drops

* * *

"Alright, now to Long Range!" Geoff said. "And for this, we'll need to head outside."

"How come?" Maka asked.

"Sora has control of the elements, Crona is basically throwing explosives. No way are we testing those in here!" Geoff said. "We don't want to worry about the budget _AGAIN!" _

Maka and Mickey shared a mutual look that could be best summed up as the word '_what?'_.

"So, where are we going?" Soul asked. "I'll need to drive me and Maka up there."

"Yeah, about that." Max said, chuckling awkwardly. "Your bike got towed."

_**"WHAT!?"** _Soul said, fuming. "I paid for the parking meter!"

"I guess they don't accept money from Death City." Max said with a shrug. "So, we're going to have to drive you up there."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad. How bad can it be?" Maka asked.

* * *

"I had to ask, didn't I?" Maka murmured, scrunched up in the back seat of a jeep, stuck between Soul and a furious Mickey.

"Why do I have to be in the same vehicle with this-this- HER!" Mickey fumed.

"Hey, I'm here too you know." Soul replied.

"Quiet you!"

"Hey, stop fighting you too, or I'm turning this car around!" Geoff yelled.

"Fine, not that I care or anything." Mickey said, crossing his arms.

"And you wonder why you don't have an audience anymore." Maka murmured.

"_That tears it! Let me at her!" _Mickey said, lunging towards Maka, being stopped by Soul holding him back with the palm of his hand. "Buddy, this is _really _pathetic."

"Agreed. So Mickey, cut it out. I'm not warning you again." Geoff said.

Mickey grumbled to himself, sitting back. "Fine." He murmured, annoyed.

Geoff stopped the car, smiling. "And we're here!" He said, stepping out in the testing range. Maka, Soul and Mickey exited as well, flinching at the bright sunlight. "Gah, why's it so bright!?" Soul murmured.

"Well, some people think it's due to global warming, making a hole in the ozone layer, causing extra sunlight to filter thr-" Armand said, popping out of God knows where.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I get the idea." Soul said, waving him off.

"So Geoff, you said there'd be moving figures?" Maka asked.

"Yup, over there." He said, pointing to an empty part of the desert, with around 5 Moving dummies milling about.

"Good to know." Maka said, as Soul changed into his scythe form.

"Hey, how WILL you test Crona's Scream Waves?" Max asked, confused. Maka smiled. "Simple. I've watched Crona's soul wavelength plenty of times, I know what he has to do for it to happen. For the wave itself, Soul will play the piano while I use Witch Hunter."

Max blinked in confusion. "But... He's a Scythe. How can he play a piano?"

"It's inside of me." Soul replied.

Everyone stared at the pair in confusion.

"Yeah, I don't get it either." Soul said with the closest he could do to a shrug.

"Anyways," Geoff said, wanting to change the subject. "Get down to the field and get rid of those dummies!'

"You got it!" Maka said, snapping off a salute and running down to the field, Soul at the ready.

"**ARE YOU READY!?" **Geoff yelled.

"Ready!" She called back.

"3...2...1! **SHOUT OFF!" **Geoff yelled.

"You think Geoff enjoys making bad puns?" Max whispered to Armand, who shrugged.

Maka's scythe became a bright blue, white haunting Piano music emanated from it. "**SCREECH ALPHA!" **She yelled, swinging the scythe. A Screaming burst of purple energy went flying from it, slamming into a dummy. The resulting explosion sent it, and half of another one, flying dozen of metres away.

Geoff yelled in excitement.

"I think he may enjoy this job a little _too _much." Armand whispered, Max nodding.

**"SCREECH BETA!" **She shouted, slicing the air again, sending a wave through the air, a skull screaming on it. It cut through a pair of dummies, cutting them cleanly in two.

**"SCREECH GAMMA!" **Maka shouted, waving her scythe in a figure-eight pattern, all towards the Final dummy. The waves hit it straight on, cutting it to bloody ribbons.

She waved her scythe around before slamming the base of it into the ground. A _THUD _echoed from within the scythe. "Ow! I fell off my chair!" Soul complained, making Maka blush in embarrassment. "Sorry."

Geoff applauded, whooping. "Nice!"

"Yeah, he does enjoy this too much." Max said with finality.

* * *

Armand shook his head, seeing what was left of the dummies. "Oh damn, what did these poor guys do you? Shoot your cat?" He asked, chuckling.

"Trust me, I doubt anyone would try and hurt Blair." Maka said, giggling.

Armand raised an eyebrow before shrugging. "Anyways, first let's see what the Screech Alpha did to the dummies. Or, what's left of them anyways." Armand said, walking up to the remains of the pair of dummies.

"Okay, I've only seen this kind of damage from explosive weapons, and even then it's usually a landmine." He said, shuddering. "I mean, this guy and his friend are torn apart. Next guys."

He walked over to the victim of the Screech Beta, shuddering.

"Oh man." He said, looking it over. "Now, you seem to have cut this guy," he pointed to the one on the left. "IN HALF. Also look's like it's been cauterized, likely from the energy produced. And his friend," He said, looking at it.

The tiny buggy propelling it had been hit in the blast, wrecking it to molten slag. The metal spine was also bent back, with the body itself cut cleanly in half. "Yeah, he's dead."

"And Screech Gamma." He said, staring at the small pile of blood, artificial guts and 'skin'. "Yeah, dead."

"Hm, I'll admit, that's pretty good." Mickey said with a shrug, looking over the bodies. "But you do remember the Reflega spell, correct? Hit Sora with a screech Beta and it'll go flying back at him."

Maka frowned. That was a good point.

"And, I bet the Elemental Mgics will be even better." He said with a cocky grin.

"Oh yeah? Let's see." Maka said, walking up the hill, standing besides the others, waiting to see these _Elemental Magics _at work.

* * *

A Chevy Pick Up came by, dropping off a few more of the dummies, which were placed down in the empty spot.

While Geoff signed the lease for them, the driver felt his eyes widen. "Hey are you those guys froom Spike, from that show with all the killin' and stuff?" He asked.

Geoff grinned, happy to see a fan. "Why yes, yes we are."

"Ah sweet, I love 1000 Ways To Die!" He said, making Geoff's good mood die a rather painful death.

"Hey, mind if I stay and watc-" He started, his face like that of a child in a candy store.

"No." Geoff said drily, handing back the clipboard and walking off.

"Heh, jerk." The driver muttered, walking into his car. "No wonder they lost the guy from _Hellboy_."

Geoff came back, silently fuming, Max looking at him with concern. "Hey, are you oka-" 'Yes." Geoff cut him off. "Just start the test." He said, looking at the mouse down below, Keyblade at the ready.

"Okay." Max said, turning to look down at Mickey. "ON 3... 2... 1! Eh, um... SHOOT STUFF!" Max said, causing Mickey to look back at him in confusion. Geoff facepalmed, muttering curses under his breath.

Mickey shrugged, raising his sword like a gun, the metal of it becoming a hellish orange. "_Firaga!" _He shouted, shooting a ring of flames towards one of the dummies, engulfing it in flames. The fake eyes popped open, splattering quickly evaporating fluids. "Oooooh, nasty!" Geoff said, grinning.

Mickey turned to the left, the sword becoming lightly Blue. "_Blizzaga!" _A beam of pure ice hit one of the dummies, exploding in a cloud of quickly freezing ice. One of the dummies near it got hit by the cloud, freezing as well. The ice quickly exploded, bringing flash-frozen chunks of meat and gel with them.

Mickey held his word back, becoming an electric blue. "_Thundaga!" _He shouted, swinging it towards the last pair. A Bolt of lightning came from the skies above, even there was no clouds, the bolt hitting one of them with a slight aftershock, hitting the other. The pair were thrown into the air by some unknown force, as if the lightning had deactivated gravity. They fell back to the Earth a few seconds later.

The one hit by the full force of the lightning was charred, the fake organs burnt and the blood boiling. Barbequed by lightning.

The other was only lightly cooked, but horribly mangled from the crash.

Mickey sheathed his sword, smiling. "Think your friend will survive that?"

* * *

Armand flinched, looking over the bodies. "Okay, first of all, _every single one of them is dead._" He said, elicting a small round of chuckles.

"The ones hit by the Blizzaga would have died from frostbite, shock and of course, the ice shards from the explosion cutting into them." He said, crushing up a flake of ice between his fingers. "Chilled."

"Firaga, the guy is covered in head to toe with third degree burns. At that point, your insides are burning, and as you can see," he said, pointing to the burst eyes. "Some parts start going out. He's dead." He said, walking away.

"The guy directly hut by lightning is basically the same as the guy hit by Firaga, third degree burns and such. His friend however," he said, pointing to the lightly steaming and broken dummy. "Seems to have a broken spine, and some broken ribs as well. Not dead, but paralyzed."

"And the Black Blood won't save him here." Mickey said with a grin. "True. Crona would honestly really on his feet and running to not get hurt by this." Maka said, a trace of melancholy in her voice.

"Okay, so that's all in long range?" Geoff said. The pair nodded. "Alright, let's head on bac-"

A shot rang through the air, nearly hitting Geoff.

"SHIT, RUN!" He yelled, running for cover.

Maka held out her hands, Soul shifting into her hands while Mickey held out his sword. "Who's shooting!?" Mickey asked, confused.

"I am!" A voice rang out.

The pair looked up, seeing a somewhat familiar face standing on top of the ridge, an M24 Rifle in his hands.

"Miss me!?" Richard Machowicz called out.

"Richard!? Didn't you die from the Vampire Zombies!?" Armand said, shocked and confused.

The not-SEAL laughed, shaking his head. "Not quite! You see..."

* * *

_Richard held a combat knife in one hand, a Spartan Spear in the other, backing away from the swiftly advancing Zompires. Vampires with no intelligence whatsoever but now could use their abilities to full potential, without worry of fatigue. _

_This battle was taking place in the Fight Club, filled with replica's of weapons used throughout the season. And at the moment, Ol' Richie was pissed._

_ "You guys think you can kill me!? I'm Richard Fuckin' Machowiz, Host of FutureWeapons! And former Navy SEAL!" he snarled, holding out the weapon. "You can't hurt m-"_

_"Richard, we already know you're not a Navy SEAL!" Geoff called out from a booth above the studio._

_"Yeah, you only said that to get the show!" Max said, special guest judge for this episode._

_"OH SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS! I KNOW THAT, YOU KNOW THAT, BUT THEY DON'T!" He fumed, pointing his spear at a Zompire inches away from his face. His rage quickly disappeared as he realized he was surrounded by the creatures_

_"Oh sh-"_

_His curse was cut off Hollywood-style as the creatures pounced on him, dragging him screaming under a pile of teeth, claws and rotten skin._

_Armand flinched, flicking the switch. Confetti and Loud Music blared, while a pile of pig carcasses fell from above. The Zompires quickly devoured them before ending up vomiting up their meals, and a few of their organs. A nasty little disease that had been fabricated in case the Undead-squared won._

_And that they did. Nothing was left of Richard._

_Not even a bone or drop of blood._

* * *

"You assholes thought I died down there, under that pile. But I didn't! No, I escaped!" He said, cackling.

* * *

_Richard scrambled like a greased up eel, trying to find anything to grab on, some hidden spear or gun or something, SOMETHING to keep those things away from him._

_He found something._

* * *

"I found out we had a little trap door underneath the building, and ran out of there, running for my life from the undead horde, while YOU FUCKERS celebrated!" He shouted, his face a bright red.

"And so, I'm going to have my revenge and kill you all, right here, right now." Richard said, holding up his rifle.

"Hey Mickey, think he has a Kishin Egg for a soul?" A voice behind the very insane man with a gun said.

Richard turned around in shock, seeing Maka and Mickey, both of them _very _pissed.

"Wh-What? I thought you guys hated each other!" He said.

"Oh, we do." Mickey said, nodding.

"But we hate assholes like you more." Maka said, her grip on the scythe tightening.

Richard blanked, holding up the rifle in submission. "I surrender?" He attempted.

"Not a chance." Mickey and Maka, lunging at him while he gave a surprisingly feminine squeal.

* * *

"So, who do you guys think wins Long Range?" Geoff asked, watching Maka and Mickey beat the ever-living crap out of Richard.

"Sora. Screws around with gravity, isn't able to be blocked and is more diverse." Armand said.

Geoff and Armand stared at Max, who nodded as an explosion occurred behind them, caused by a Flamaga. "Definitely goes to Sora."

* * *

_**EDGE: LONG RANGE SORA!**_

* * *

Geoff whistled cheerfully as the drove back to The Arena, with Maka and Mickey discussing with one another.

"I especially liked how you used Witch Hunter after I finished with my Thundaga. Very nice combo." The mouse complimented, making Maka blush in embarrassment. "Oh please." She said with a wave of the hand. "You were the one who hit him first."

"But you hit him last." Mickey reminded.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Maka said before Soul let out an annoyed sigh. "Maka, the mouse is trying to compliment you. The least you could do is accept it."

**THWACK**

Soul crumpled over in pain, clutching his head while Maka held a particularly large hard-cover book. "Ow, what the hell was that for!?" He complained.

"Because." She said simply, refusing to elaborate.

Geoff stopped the car as they dropped in front of the arena. "Okay, time for the Final test: Special Weapons."

* * *

"Okay, for this we'll be essentially having Offense against Defense. First up, is Crona and his Extra Limbs." Geoff said as they pulled out some dummies.

Maka blinked in confusion. "Um, how am I supposed to test _that?_" She asked, confused.

"By using this!" Max said, pulling out a strange harness. It seemed to have a pair of spray-painted black mannequin arms on it, each one clutching a smaller, almost _katana _like version of Ragnarök.

"This'll respond to your electrical impulses, therefore each limb acting in concert with the others." Armand explained. Seeing Maka's uneasy look at it, he smiled. "Don't worry, you won't get cut."

"If you say so." She said as she swung it on, Ragnarök in hand.

"Okay, start when you're ready!" Geoff said as he and his co-hosts sat behind a plastic screen. Maka nodded, entering a combat stance, the false arms moving to do the same.

"Okay, on 3...2...1! **CUT HIM UP!**" Geoff yelled, as Maka lunged to the dummy. She swung Ragnarök, lopping off a shoulder with little resistance. The secondary arms did likewise, one of them slicing apart the dummies face, while the last one cut open the stomach and lunged in, tearing apart false bones and making cuts on organs.

Maka leapt back, as the dummy bled from multiple areas.

"Three times the Blades, Three times the fun." Max commented.

"Why the hell am I even here?" Armand said, sighing as he walked up to inspect the damage. "Okay, first off we have a shoulder completely _gone, _what was at one point a face," He said, cringing at the gruesome display. "And cuts on the lungs, liver, stomach and heart. Blood and acid would be spilling out, causing extreme pain and eventual death. K.O'ed."

"And now, for the last weapon Crona has." Geoff said, looking uncomfortable.

Maka cocked her head. "What do you mean? I can't do anything else at this point." She said.

"You can't, but I can." A new voice said, seducing and cruel. Maka's eyes hardened, turning around with a snarl.

_"Medusa." _She growled out.

The witch with a sadistic streak that would make Sōsuke Aizen look kind grinned. "Miss me, Maka?" She asked.

"What is _she _doing here?" Soul growled, one of his arms becoming the scythe edge.

"She was the only person we could find who can actually manipulate Black Blood or The Madness Wavelength." Geoff said with an awkward cough.

Medusa continued smirking, letting out a sigh when Maka wouldn't stop glaring. "Relax, I'm not here to pick a fight. I'm here to help show why my like shmookum would win." She said, taking a shockingly affectionate tone when talking about Crona.

Maka blinked in confusion. "But I thought you hate-" She said, cut off by a laugh from Medusa. "Oh no, not at all. I'm just a rather... _tough _parent, is all."

_"Understatement of the century." _Everyone, minus Medusa, thought. Medusa on the other hand was thinking on how to torture Maka _after _all of this was done.

Some people just don't change.

* * *

Medusa stood in front of a new dummy, a serpentine grin on her face. "Okay, are you ready?" Geoff called out.

"Very." She replied, taking a stance to conjure a spell that would make her do the technique.

"Okay. On 3...2...1! **DRIVE HIM CRAZY!" **

"_Gladly." _She hissed before closing her eyes. "_Nake Snake, Cobra Cobura." _She chanted, as a pool of black blood began emerging from beneath her. It enveloped her legs, making something that resembled a rosebud with the sketched eyes of the Kishin on them.

Everyone in the studio felt a stabbing pain, as they attempted to ward off the effects of the madness.

"_Mustn't... Fall... In!" _Maka and Soul thought, having been under the influence of madness before and not eager to do so again.

_"A drink to you, A drink to me, A drink to our Comradery, If at first we disagree, Fuck you a drink to me!"_ Geoff thought to himself, remembering the marching son he'd learnt from his service in the military.

"_I can't go out like this! I'm a Doctor Damnit, not a Lunatic!" _Armand thought, the nerd in him fighting for his remaining sanity points.

"_Nakedladiesnakedladiesnakedladiesnakedladies." _Max thought to himself, doing what all nerds do when panicking.

_"I'll be respected, saluted, and seen for the wonder I am!" _Mickey mentally sang, singing his theme song.

Medusa however, was cackling like a goddamn lunatic in her mind.

She pointed at the dummy, a insane grin on her face. "_Cobura Cobra, Snake Nake!" _She hissed as the dummy became enveloped in a black sphere. After a few seconds, the Black Blood disappeared, as did the sphere. Everyone gasped for breath, thankful for the release from the madness.

"_Oh thank Lord Death." _

_"Glory, Glory, I don't want to go through that again!"_

_"I wonder if there's any medical books n the effects of the Madness Wavelenngth on humans?"_

_"Okay, now I can get back to thinking on how to buy Hasbro."_

_"__Nakedladiesnakedladiesnakedladiesnakedladies."_

Everyone looked at what had once been a dummy of Crona and flinched. It had, for lack of a better word, went inside out. Without a mind to guide it, the Madness had been too strong, making the rules of physics get up, say _screw this!_, go to the couch, play a few rounds of _Call of Duty: Ghosts_, come back and try and restart everything in a idiotic stupor.

"Dead!" Armand called out, not even bothering to deal with it.

"Okay Medusa, time for you to go." Geoff said. Medusa turnd around, looking hurt. "Oh, you don't want me to stay?" She said with a mock pout.

Soul shifted into a scythe in Maka's hands.

Medusa huffed, crossing her arms in a childish way. Her possessing Rachel had left a few imprints on her mind. "Fine, I'll go." She said, a giant snake crashing through the ceiling. She quickly jumped on it's head as it flew off.

"OH FOR FUCK SAKES! DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT THE BUDGET!?" Geoff yelled in frustration.

* * *

A few hours later, after the ceiling had been repaired and the debris taken away (along with a good deal of Geoff's paycheck), the next test was ready to start.

"Are you ready?" Geoff said, calling to Mickey. "Ready!" He said before straightening up. "Hey wait, how are we supposed to test Refle-"

**"3,2,1, GO!"** Geoff said in a rushed tone, ducking for cover just as a group of men wearing bright red garbs dressed similarly to Lord Death arrived, kicking down a wall ("AW COME ON!" Geoff yelled. "You said you were to arrive through the door!")

"_**NOBODY EXPECTS LORD DEATHS INQUISITION, WHICH COMES WHERE IT PLEASES!" **_Justin Law, youngest weapon of Lord Death and one of the few weapons to worship Lord Death as a God, shouted as he held up a machine gun and fired, his comrades doing the same.

Mickey let out a feminine yelp, raising the Keyblade. "_REFLEGAREFLEGAREFLEGA!" _He shouted as a mirror like energy field popped into existence in front of him, making the bullets bounce off. After a few seconds, it collapsed with a bright flash of light, _physically hurting _the Inquisition and giving the added bonus of throwing the bullets right back.

_**"LORD DEATHS INQUISITION... NOW MAKES A HASTY RETREAT!"** _Justin said, turning around and running away, his comrades in pursuit.

Mickey turned around, glaring daggers at Geoff. "Hey, they said they'd come through the door!" He protested.

* * *

After yet _another _clean-up crew (and more money lost from Geoff's paycheck), Mickey stood cross-armed, glaring at the analysts.

"Okay, time to test Magnega!" Max said, hoping to distill the tension.

"How? Going to have more of 'Lord Deaths Inquisition'-"

Suddenly a wall exploded, with said members of the Inquisition running in.

_**"NOBODY EXPECTS LORD DEATHS INQUISI-"** _Justin said, before noticing the glares of everyone in the room. "... I'll just let myself out." He said, slowly backing out.

After they exited, everyone stared at Geoff. "Nope, not dealing with it this time." He said, holding on his wallet selfishly.

"So, how?" Mickey asked.

"Just go out and stand there." Max said, pointing to an empty part of the studio. Mickey did so, putting his sword in the air.

_"Magnega!" _

Suddenly, every object in the room, from swords to dummies, went flying straight towards Mickey.

"Ah crap."

* * *

A few minutes, after Mickey had been lead out by a paramedic team on a stretcher, the trio focused around a table. "Okay, so who wins that?" Geoff asked, looking at his fellow analysts.

"Honestly, I'm going with Sora. He can protect himself, _and _can also have Crona come at him... Although a few things may come with Crona." Max said.

"I agree. The Madness Wavelength is very useful, but Sora is known to have a strong will. He should deal with it with some ease." Armand said.

"So, Sora?" Geoff said. They nodded.

"Alright, Sora get's the edge."

* * *

**EDGE: Sora with Reflega/Magnega**

* * *

"Okay, so all the data is ready. Let's insert it and get this ready." Geoff said, pulling out a USB drive and plugging it into the tablet-table.

"Hey, what operating system is it on?" Max asked.

"Huh? Windows 7, or something. Why?" He said, confused.

Max blanched. "TAKE IT OU-"

The tablet-table's screen promptly blue screened before shutting down. Amongst functions like the simulation program, informative videos and where the Narrator supposedly lived, it also was the source of the power in the building.

The lights died out, and a short silence filled the room.

"**MOTHER FUCKER!"**

* * *

Geoff cracked his knuckles, with a tablet-table working on an Apples system. "Okay, let's try this again." He said, popping the USB in.

The data streamed across the screen, as the simulator booted up.

"Hey, if the tablet does all the work, why am I here?" Max asked.

Geoff opened his mouth before closing it, a look of concentration crossing his face. Before he could reply, the simulation began.

* * *

_Simulation._

_Begin._

* * *

Crona stood in the corner of a room, trying to look as small as possible while his mother, Medusa, sat on a mat, circled around a crystal ball. "Yo-You wanted to see me, La-Lady Medusa?" Crona stuttered out, terrified.

The Serpentine Bitch smiled, nodding. "Oh yes Crona. You see, I recently found a small town, somewhere far north from here, filled with souls for the picking. Since you've been such a good little boy as of late, I decided I'd let you go there and have a little fun."

Crona blinked in shock. She was... Letting him go somewhere... Not to kill... _But to have **FUN!?**_

"It would also be a great place to collect countless souls."

There we go, the Medusa he knew/feared.

"Y-Yes Lady Medusa. What's the name of this town?" Crona asked.

Medusa gave a face-splitting grin, one of her shadowy snakes slithering out of her mouth.

"_Utopia Falls." _She hissed.

* * *

Sora lied on a balcony in the castle of King Mickey, a bored expression on his face. He'd defeated Organization XIII, And the tide of Heartless had became barely a trickle. A good sign, for sure.

But it also made life for the Wielder of the Keyblade incredibly _boring._

"Why can't anything interesting happen? Why can't some villain pop up for me to defeat, or return with evil plans? Why does everything have to be so boring?" Sora grumbled to himself.

"Bored, huh?" A high-pitched voice said, catching Sora by surprise. He turned around, seeing the infamous King of Toons himself.

"Ki-King Mickey! What are you doing here?" Sora blurted out. Mickey shook his head, chuckling. "It _is _my castle." He reminded Sora, making him blush lightly in embarrassment. "O-Oh yeah." he said before clearing his throat. "But I have the feeling you didn't come to see me for a casual conversation."

Mickey sighed, nodding sadly. "You're sadly correct. I've felt a dark presence growing, something possibly worse than Organization XIII. I need you togo to the world it's on and defeat this force."

Sora grinned, straightening up. "You can count on me." He said, smiling. "So, how will I get their?"

* * *

Utopia Falls. A Nice little American town somewhere in Louisianna. It was the stereotypical image of American Suburbia, with the sign introducing the town being a picture of the towns serene lake with a sunset over it, with the words '_America's Slice of Heaven' _written underneath.

Crona passed said sign without even a glance. He'd traveled here by Snake (Something he still wasn't aware on how to react to), landing him about a mile away from the town. He didn't notice the group of football jockies, all of whom were boasting about trivial things, like how many beers they could drink (even though they were below by about 2 years of the towns drinking age), how many girls they'd had sex with (Morally frowned upon by God knows how many people in the town of 10'000) and who was the strongest of them all.

Crona bumped into one, making him turn around with a scowl. "Hey, watch where ya goin', ya freak!" He slurred, a beer in one hand. Crona flinched at the yell. "S-Sorry." He hastily apologized. _Lady Medusa DID say I could kill as I pleased... But should I kill him?_

The man, oblivious to the small moral dilemna Crona was going over, shoved Crona, propelling him back a few feet. "I didn't hear you! Now, ya understand me?!"

"Oh, how am I supposed to deal with this?" Crona murmured to himself, to the fury if the jocky.

"Answer me!" The jocky yelled while his friends rolled their eyes. Look's like another guy was going to have his face smashed in.

Suddenly, a certain being decided to make itself known. A quick appearance, and Ragnarök appeared, his face smudged against the jockies. **"****Hey asshole, nobody picks on Crona but me!" **He growled, while the jocky and his friends backed up in fear. "Wh-What the fuck!?" One of them swore.

"Ragnarök, why did you interrupt? Now I don't know how to deal with them." Crona whined, making Ragnarök give the equivalent of an eye roll. **"Oh sure, sitting their like a deer about to get ran over was a _real _good way of dealing with the situation."** He said.

Meanwhile, one of the jockies got out a baseball bat and ran up to Crona, wanting to pummel the kid into a stain on the ground.

Crona noticed the obvious hostility and decided to react in kind. In a second, Ragnarök changed into his sword-form, stabbing the so-called attacker through the chest. He cleaved him in half, his soul floating out, which Ragnarök devoured greedily. **"Next!" **He called out, as Crona pursued the fleeing athletes.

He cut one in half, the sword cutting through flesh, muscle and vertebrae as easily as a hot knife through butter.

He noticed one of them getting into a car, attempting to drive away. He lifted his sword in front of him, just before Ragnarök shouted **"SCREAM RESONANCE!"**.

A wave of pure sound hit the car, sending it flipping through the air before meeting an explosive meeting with the ground. Crona had Ragnarök devour the souls before the sword disappeared. Crona sighed, walking down the road towards Utopia Falls.

* * *

Lake Alerston. Named after the towns founder, it was a beautiful expanse of water, around a mile wide and just as deep. It was a tranquil night, with a Loon on the water, and a few fish jumping out of the water.

**_BZAP!_**

And with a green flash of light, said tranquility was broken. Where the light was once, it was replaced by Sora. For a second, the laws of gravity didn't affect him, with him floating above the lake. A second later, he came crashing to the water with a yelp.

He surfaced above the water, gasping. "Wh-When I, cough, see Mickey again, cough, I'm going to point out some, cough, problems with this teleportation." He said, hacking up lake water.

He swam to shore, looking around. The place _seemed _to be safe, but he'd been wrong before. He looked around, his Keyblade at the ready.

"The place look's saf-" He said, before getting cut off by an ear-splitting shriek. He turned around, ready to hit something with a Flamaga when he noticed what had made that noise.

It looked to be a teenage girl. Short brown hair, brown eyes, freckles, glasses, braces, the stereotypical _Dork Girl._

_Utopia Falls _was a very stereotypical town when one get's down to the finer details.

"Oh! My! God! You're Sora!" The girl said, ecstatic. Sora was taken aback by her reaction. How did she know who he was? Was he really that well known here? "Um, yeah, I am." He said uneasily.

"Am I dreaming?" The girl asked.

Sora gave a tentative shake of his head.

She let out another shrill shriek, causing Sora to wince again. "I knew it! I knew you were real!" She said, getting incomfortably close to him. "I'm your biggest fan, y'know." She said, with a grin just a little _too _wide to be possibly innocent.

"Good to hear." Sora said, slightly nervous. "Say, um, do you know where a _Utopia Falls _is?"

"You're going to Utopia Falls!?" She squeaked out, ecstatic. Sora nodded. "That's where i live!"

"Oh, really?" Sora said, feigning interest. "Say, um, can you lead me to town? I have some, uh, business to attend to."

"It would be my pleasure!" She said, ecstatic. "Come on, we'll take my car." She said, running off to presumably get her car.

Sora sighed, following her.

At least she wasn't too bad.

* * *

Sora regretted having thought that, praying to whatever deity that could hear him for her to _shut up!_

"So then she told me that the 10th Doctor wouldn't make out with Rory, and I was like 'yeah, and there's no way your boyfriend would kiss you!' And she got all angry for some reason. Know what I mean?" The girl said, as if Sora had some enlightening thing to add to this story.

"Um, yeah, I guess." He said.

"Good, because I swear, nobody ever understa-" She said, before cutting off, completely freezing up.

Sora blinked in surprise, giving her a light shake. "Hey, um, you okay?" He asked.

Nothing.

"Hello?" He said, concerned. Still nothing.

"Are you oka-"

"And then I said," she said, suddenly springing back to life. "Bitch, you can talk to me when you realize there WAS no Doctor Who before Two Thousand Fou- Hey, you okay?" She said, looking concerned at Sora.

"What the- Did you not remember any of that?" He said, baffled. "Remember what?" She said, confused. Sora opened my mouth, about to tell her that she had 'froze', when the car suddenly stopped.

"Hey, what's the matte-" He said, before noticing the expression of horror on her face. He followed her gaze and felt his jaw drop.

Utopia Falls, the town Sora had been sent to protect was burning.

* * *

Crona lazily walked down the burning streets of Utopia Falls, dragging Ragnarök behind him. He had a bored expression on his face, and finally sighed, resting down on a bench.

**"Hey, why are we stopping!? There's still more souls to eat!" **Ragnarök protested, forming his 'human' body. Crona somply sighed. "I don't want to eat anymore souls." He said, making Ragnrök stare at him in shock. **"You WHAT!?"**

"I just don't feel like it. It's not even fun anymore." Crona said, fidgeting. **"NOT EVEN FU-WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" **Ragnarök said, furious.

Crona shrugged, avoiding the gaze of his weapon. "They don't even fight back anymore, they just look at me and scream. I don't know how to deal with that." He said.

**"Oh, I get it! You just want me to _starve_!" **Ragnarök bemoaned, causing Crona to become slightly annoyed.

"No, it's just-"

**"And I thought you cared about me! But I guess not!"** Ragnarök said, tearing up.

"Listen, Ragnarök, I-" Crona was cut off by Ragnarök's large hand covering his face.

**"No, I don't want to hear you, breaker of hearts!" **Ragnarök cried.

"Ge' you han' off meh faish!" Crona said, his voice muffled.

**"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." **Ragnarök said, bending over to his hand over dramatically. **"What did you say?"**

"Ge'. You. Han'. Off. Meh. Faish." Crona growled out.

**"Why didn't you say that the first time?" **Ragnarök said, taking his hand off Crona's face.

Crona glared daggers at his weapon.

**"Stop glaring, your face will get stuck that way." **Ragnarök said drily.

"I can deal with that." Crona replied.

"Well I can't." A new voice said, catching Crona and Ragnarök by surprise. Crona turned, seeing a certain blonde-haired hero with a Keyblade.

**"Ooooh, I bet he has a _tasty _soul!"** Ragnarök said. "But I don't want to fight him." Crona said. **"Crona, get up, run up to him and stab him in the head. I'm **_**hungry**." _Ragnarök hissed.

Crona sighed, standing up. Sora held out his Keyblade at an angle, standing in a battle stance. "I am Sora, Wielder of the Keyblade and protector of the Kingdom Heart. You've killed countless innocent people and I'm going to avenge their deaths."

The words mean't nothing to Crona, and he didn't particularly cared, entering his own combat stance, Ragnarök shifting into his sword mode. "I'm Crona, son of Lady Medusa and Demon-Sword Meister." He said in a neutral tone.

The pair glared at one another, waiting for the other to strike.

Then, as if by the flipping of a switch, they lunged at one another.

* * *

**FIGHT!**

* * *

Crona swung his sword down, planning to cleave the golden haired child in half. Sora saw the blade descending and quickly blocked it with the Keyblade. Sora tried to slash at Crona, but he leapt back before the Keyblade could get him.

**"SCREECH ALPHA!" **He shouted, swinging Ragnarök and sending a screaming wave of energy to Sora.

_"Reflaga!" _

The burst of energy hit the magical field, deflecting it and sending it crashing through a building as the shield broke into a brilliant gold light. Crona yelped in pain as his he went temporarily blind from the attack. **"Come on Crona, snap out of it! He's coming right at us!" **Ragnarök said, as Sora appeared in front of Crona just as his eyes got better.

"Uh oh." Crona said, before getting kicked in the gut, getting sent flying to a building, smashing into the wall and doubling over.

"WOO-HOO, SORA!" The fangirl cheered, watching from a distance. Sora sighed in annoyance, muttering to himself. "Why does she have to be here?" He muttered before turning to her. "Listen! You need to get out of here! It's too dangerous!"

She pouted. "But I was wanting to cheer you on!" she whined before attempting a seductive pose.

Key word being attempting.

"Maybe even find out how big your 'Keyblade' is." She said, a smile that could be loosely described as 'flirty'. Sora tried to hold back the rising bile in his throat.

"Listen, you can find out later! Right now, you need to run!" He said. She frowned, dropping the pose. "And why's that, huh?" She demanded._  
_

Sora looked at the building Crona had been thrown into.

He was gone.

He turned to warn the girl away before feeling his throat go dry.

Crona was behind the girl, Ragnarök sticking out of her chest. "He-Help." She gurgled out before Crona rose the sword, bisecting her, her soul floating there as what remained of the body fell apart.

Ragnarök greedily devoured the soul while Crona glared at Sora. He was a bit bruised up, the Black Blood not fully healing him. His serious expression quickly broke though, his eyes going vacant as a maniacal grin spread across his face.

_"My blood is black you know." _He said, another pair of arms sprouting from his back, each one armed with a more narrow version of Ragnarök.

Sora roared in anger, aiming his Keyblade straight at the transgendered bastard. _"Thundaga!" _He screamed. A bolt of lightning appeared from the sky above, spearing Crona.

He replied by laughing like a lunatic, the madness eroding his sanity. **"SCREECH GAMMA!" **He shouted, multiple waves of death being thrown at Sora. Sora deftly dodged them, charging at Crona, murder on his face. "She was an innocent soul!" He shouted, leaping into the air, ready to bisect the madman with a swing. Crona blocked the strike, his three blades clashing against Sora's one.

**"Oh, we know that." **Ragnarök said, a grin evident in his voice. **"It was delicious."**

_"BLIZZAGA!"_

Crona shrieked in pain as his arms became frozen, as well as a good deal of his chest. Sora had also received some damage mainly to his hands but he didn't care. He wanted Crona _dead. _

Crona broke the ice, hissing in pain as he entered a combat stance. "That's it. I was going easy on you before, but now it's time to finish this." He daid, pointing Ragnarök at Sora. **"Mad Bloo-" **He was cut off by Sora impaling him through the chest with the Keyblade, using it as a makeshift lance.

Crona looked into Sora's eyes, which burned with rage.

**"Mad Blood."**

Shadows enveloped Sora, while Crona simply plucked out the Keyblade form his body, throwing it into a building while the Keyblade Wielder lied on the ground, his eyes wide as he witnessed nightmares only he could see.

**"Here's hoping his soul is tasty!" **Ragnarök said, as Crona rose his blade, before brining it down and disconnecting Sora's head from his shoulders.

* * *

**WINNER! CRONA!**

* * *

Geoff sighed, lying back. "And now comes the pissed off fans." He prophisized, feeling sorry for the executives who'd have to deal with the torrent of fan-hate.

"Crona won this due to the fact he's more used to killing, and the fact that his Madness wavelength really plays with Sora, who's never truly fought someone who can use mind-tricks." Max said, explain ing for the people at home.

"Then there's the fact that the Keyblade is near useless against Crona and his Black Blood, with only blunt trauma able to hurt him. And since Sora like's to try and stab..." Armand said, finishing with a shrug.

"I knew he'd do it." Soul said, a cool guy act on him. "No you didn't. You made bets with Max that Sora would win!" Maka protested.

Geoff glared at the geek, his eyebrow cocked. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember you bringing a wallet. How exactly did you place bets?" He said, causing Max to squirm under his sight. "Well, I kinda borrowed your money... Sorry." He said lamely.

While Geoff went apeshit on Max and everyone tried to hold back the furious host, nobody paid heed that the simulation was still continuing.

* * *

Crona watched dispassionately as his body disappeared, leaving a shining gold soul in it's place.

**"Oooooh, that's new!" **Ragnarök said, gulping it down. His weapon form began to shift, at the end resembling the Keyblade Sora had once used. **"Hey, I got some new tricks! Now we can beat the shit out of even _more _people!"** He cheered, while Crona shifted awkwardly, the madness having left. "Ragnarök, don't swear. I don't know how to deal with that." He said.

**"Oh yeah? Well fuck you." **Ragnarök said flippantly. Crona sighed, not wanting to deal with this. "Come on, let's go see Lady Medusa." He said, turning around.

Meanwhile, back in the castle of King Mickey, Donald and Goofy explored the castle. "Hell-oooooo~!" Goofy called out, looking around. "Now where did that Sora run off too?" He said, while Donald shrugged. "I donknow. Chip and Dale said they last saw him talking to Mickey."

"Talking to me?" A voice said.

Donald and Goofy turned around, relief on their faces. "King Mickey!" Donald said. "Thank goodness we found you! We heard you sent Sora on some mission!" Goody said, causing Mickey's features to be covered in confusion. "A mission? What are you talking about? I was sleeping!"

Donald and Goofy instantly became confused. "Hold on. If you didn't send Sora out, then who did?"

Far away, 'King Mickey' walked out of the castle, a grin far too large to be natural on his face.

_"Let the games begin." _He said, his skin becoming the texture and appearance of oil as he dissappeared.

* * *

**VICTORY GAINS FOR BACK FOR BLOOD!**

**- Increased durability to element based attacks.**

**- Ragnarök able to use Flamaga and Blizzaga, but more explosive and uncontrollable now.**

**- Madness is now much easier to tap into.**

* * *

**AND I AM DONE!**

**Biggest chapter I've ever written. Hell, maybe the biggest thing I've written. Period. And expect every chapter to be like this! And I apologize if the fight was short or anti-climatic, I'm still rather new to this.**

**But next time, it'll be even more insane! How so?**

**Here's what the next fight is: Ghost Rider vs Alucard.**

**Until next time, read and review and have a nice day/afternoon/night, etc. **

**Adieu, Madman with a Keyboard.**

* * *

**EDIT: Now I know I promised Alucard vs Ghost Rider for Chapter 2...**

**But I am happy to say I'm currently replacing the, with something else. Something... Insane.**

**What is it, you may ask?**

**Five words.**

**Lich-Hitler vs Mecha-Stalin.**

**Oh yes. Be scared.**

**Coming soon.**


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